Identical Strangers
by Tracy Diane Miller
Summary: Sequel to What About Gary? Gary, Jake, and Joan meet with comic results.


Identical Strangers  
  
Summary: This very short story, an EE/What About Joan? crossover, is a continuation of "What About Gary?"  
  
Disclaimer: Early Edition and What About Joan? characters belong to whoever created them. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made.  
  
Author's Notes: When I wrote "What About Gary?" a month ago, I intended for that story to be a very short journey into the absurd. I certainly didn't plan on a continuation. However, the surprising responses to this short story and requests for a continuation precipitated this new story. But reader beware as my earlier warning still applies- this story is just meant to be absurd and goofy g.  
  
Author: Tracy Diane Miller  
  
E-mail address: tdmiller82@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
Identical Strangers  
  
She had tried blaming it on the coffee, something had to be in that cup to cause her to hallucinate. And she had wished that she could blame it on alcohol, you know, her fear of commitment causes an argument and forces her gorgeous boyfriend to storm out of her apartment and she's so distraught that she drinks herself into a stupor. Now, the morning after, she's paying the price but not with a hangover, mind you, but with a mental meltdown where her mind is playing tricks on her.  
  
She smiled in spite of herself. She figured that even if her mind was playing tricks on her, having two Jakes in front of her wasn't the worse thing that could happen. Most women would kill for that kind of insanity!  
  
All three of them were silent with the identical strangers staring at each other, the twin expressions on their faces a mixture of shock and morbid curiosity. If this were a soap opera, right now would be the time when that obscenely annoying and very loud background music would begin blaring over the screen as if the viewers were too stupid to follow the plot unless they were rendered deaf in the process. Then there would be some predictable and uninspired moment, an unimaginative plot contrivance with the actors. Perhaps the woman would gasp in shock before fainting. The chivalrous heroes would then rush to her aid with one of them catching her before she hit the floor with a resounding thump. Or, maybe one of the men would say something like "what's going on?" trying to make the question sound intelligent and profound when all the while it reeked of blatant stupidity.  
  
But this wasn't a soap opera. It was real life and she, Joan Gallagher, needed answers.  
  
"What's going on?" Jake asked, with an adorable befuddled look on his face.  
  
Nice going, Jake. You didn't pick him for his brains, did you? Joan's inner voice mocked.  
  
I resent that. He doesn't just have a pretty face, an incredible body, and is the most sensitive man I have ever met, but he's very intelligent. He's just in shock. Give him a break, huh? Joan responded to her inner voice.  
  
Okay, ten bucks says that the next sentence out of "Mr. Einstein's" mouth is something idiotic. The inner voice challenged.  
  
"Shut up!" Joan yelled to her meddlesome subconscious. "I didn't mean you, honey." She said when she noticed the look that Jake had given her following her outburst.  
  
"Why don't we all sit down and see if we can figure this thing out?" Joan suggested. The men nodded as they followed Joan to the table. The group sat down.  
  
A brief silence.  
  
"So, 'The Parent Trap' was a great movie, huh? I mean, the original one with Hayley Mills. I thought that the re-make was just okay. That's the problem with re-makes they never live up to the potential of the original. It was just like with 'Gone With The Wind'. Now there's a movie. It had everything. But that 'Scarlett' sequel thingy that was on television years back....what was that about anyway? I guess I shouldn't have expected it to be as good as the original. Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh's shoes were too big to fill and...." Joan rambled. Both Gary and Jake flashed her annoyed looks. "Hi, I'm Joan Gallagher." She introduced, extending her hand to Gary.  
  
"Gary Hobson." He replied accepting the handshake.  
  
"Jake Evans."  
  
Another brief yet awkward silence.  
  
"So, I'm thinking that you guys are twins who were separated at birth. And now, through a twist of fate, you meet." Joan offered.  
  
"My parents would have told me if I had a twin brother." Gary reasoned.  
  
"My mother would have told me, too. And then she probably would have blamed me for the excess weight she gained by carrying two babies." Jake said before belatedly realizing that now was not the time to bring up "unresolved parental issues". He could just see Joan forcing him into therapy, discussing the whole thing with Ruby. The last time he tried that therapy business it was he who ended up comforting the shrink!  
  
"Maybe there were reasons why your parents didn't tell you." Joan insisted.  
  
Jake wasn't buying her theory and neither was Gary for that matter. "Where are you from, Gary?" Jake asked.  
  
"Hickory, Indiana. You?"  
  
"Born and raised right here in Chicago. When is your birthday?"  
  
"September 17, 1965. Yours?"  
  
"September 13, 1965." Jake said.  
  
"Ah...ha That proves it!" Joan exclaimed.  
  
"Joan, that doesn't prove anything. I'm four days older than he is." Jake responded, a twinge of annoyance in his voice.  
  
"Well...yeah. But how do we know that Gary wasn't born on September 13th, but that his adoptive mother took him back to Indiana and used the day she arrived there as his birthday?" Joan asked. "Wait, I have an idea." She reached in her purse and removed a photo of Jake with his parents. She handed the photo to Gary.  
  
Jake was surprised when he saw the photo that Joan had given to Gary. "You carry around a picture of my folks? Why?" Jake asked.  
  
Joan shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because this is one of the pictures I took of the three of you at the airport and I like looking at this family moment. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."  
  
Gary stared at the photo. "This...this is your dad?"  
  
"Yeah, that's dad."  
  
"If you ever meet him, don't interrupt him when he's giving his philosophy of life. He hates that." Joan warned Gary.  
  
But Gary didn't hear her. He was too amazed by the fact that Jake's father looked exactly like Crumb!  
  
"Look, I think that this is a waste of time. There's no hocus pocus or separated at birth mystery here. We just happen to be two guys who aren't related who look alike. Everyone is supposed to have a twin somewhere in the world, right?" Jake said.  
  
"I guess." Gary agreed. He was eager to get out of there since he still had stories to handle.  
  
"You know, when I saw you and Gary together, I thought that I might be hallucinating."  
  
"I thought that I might be nursing a hangover. After what you did to me last night, maybe I had a few too many beers after I left your place." Jake revealed.  
  
"After what I did to you? I wasn't the one who stormed out like a child having a tantrum." Joan countered. Turning to Gary, she added. "What do you think of a guy who says that he'll give you space, not pressure you, then he proposes when he knows that you're not ready?"  
  
"I think..."  
  
"Well, what do you think of a woman who answers a marriage proposal with 'I feel like playing Monopoly'? How's that for making a guy feel like a fool?"  
  
"It seems to me..."  
  
"Don't you think that a woman should be happy that her boyfriend tells her that he loves her, that she means the world to him, that when he looks at her, all other women disappear?"  
  
"Commitment is very important." Gary finally managed to say.  
  
"But what if it's too soon to get married? When I get married, I want it to be forever." Joan said.  
  
"You shouldn't rush into marriage. You should be sure that you both want the same things." Gary added.  
  
"Are you married, Gary?" Jake inquired.  
  
"No. I'm divorced."  
  
"Then why are we listening to you anyway? It's not like you have the best track record." Jake observed.  
  
Gary rose from his seat. "You know what, both of you are nuts. You deserve each other. Have a nice life." Gary remarked, frustrated. He stormed out of Dino's.  
  
"What a strange guy." Jake commented.  
  
A brief silence.  
  
"Did you really mean it when you said that when you look at me, all other women disappear?"  
  
Jake flashed her smile. "From the bottom of my heart."  
  
"Jake, I'm so sorry."  
  
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left in such a huff last night. I said that I would give you time and I promise from now on, that's what I'm going to do. You're worth the wait. And since I plan to grow old with you, we have our whole lives to be together."  
  
She gently caressed his face before rewarding him with a tender kiss on the lips.  
  
"You know what I feel like doing?" He asked after the kiss ended. "I feel like going home and playing Monopoly. Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky."  
  
"Maybe you will get lucky. And I'm not talking about board games either." She said suggestively.  
  
He smiled at her wickedly as they both rose from their seats and left Dino's, his arm around her waist and her head resting on his shoulder.  
  
The End. 


End file.
